Seven Oaks Magazine.

“Conscientious practice of self-criticism is still another hallmark distinguishing our [website] from all other political [websites]. As we say, dust will accumulate if a room is not cleaned regularly, our faces will get dirty if they are not washed regularly. Our comrades’ minds and our [website]’s work may also collect dust, and also need sweeping and washing. The proverb ‘Running water is never stale and a door-hinge is never worm-eaten’ means that constant motion prevents the inroads of germs and other organisms. To check up regularly on our work and in the process develop a democratic style of work, to fear neither criticism nor self-criticism, and to apply such good popular Chinese maxims as ‘Say all you know and say it without reserve’, ‘Blame not the speaker but be warned by his words’ and ‘Correct mistakes if you have committed them and guard against them if you have not’ – this is the only effective way to prevent all kinds of political dust and germs from contaminating the minds of our comrades and the body of our [website].” - Glorious Chairman Mao Tse-Tung, Seven Oaks Chief Editor Emeritus

To our comrades in China,

Let the running dogs of imperialism tremble in the face of the eternal co-operation between the Chinese peasantry and proletariat and the editorial board of Seven Oaks magazine!

It appears that the Paper Tigers have erected their own website, The Great Firewall of China (http://www.greatfirewallofchina.org/test/), whereupon they may verify whether or nor the Party in its wisdom and its unvanquished revolutionary spirit has banned their homepages – merely electronic defenses of the decadent and decaying bourgeois order! Already, the bleating has started, with the running dogs at TheTyee.ca, a magazine of the Canadian industrial oligarchy and landed aristocracy, leading the chorus. Take strength, comrades – one is reminded of the words of the Chairman (1): “It is still better if the enemy attacks us wildly and paints us as utterly black and without a single virtue; it demonstrates that we have not only drawn a clear line of demarcation between the enemy and ourselves but achieved a great deal in our work.” We must also remind ourselves that a revolution is not a house. One cannot live inside a revolution, nor can it be painted. Think about it.

Gladly, the eternal heterosexual flame that burns between our revolutions continues to light the way towards people’s victory: Seven Oaks is still legal and fully accessible in Revolutionary China! Like the glorious Chinese peasantry does in the fields (one assumes), the leadership of the Party, always absorbed in the work of creating true socialism, has separated the wheat from the chaff. Whereas one can still access Seven Oaks, the scourge of The Tyee and The Onion have been eradicated (although I’ve noticed that they’ve also blocked some adult sites which are actually really awesome; I know you guys are generally into a more petite style, but I really think you’d enjoy Ass Parade). Then again, it’s worth considering that the Tiger has three claws: one for the land-owner, and one for the rain.