People are terrible choosers. That's what Christopher Caldwell concludes in the New Yorker ("Select All," March 1) as he tries to explain the premise of Barry Schwartz's newest book, The Paradox of Choice . Consumers will rush to buy a radically marked down Sony appliance placed in a shop window, but will freeze when two similar radically marked down Sony appliances are placed alongside each other in the same shop window. As the number of choices increases, so does the strength of mental paralysis, preventing people from making any choice at all.

People are desperately afraid of mischoosing - of finding out later that they didn't get the best bargain, that they didn't get the product that they predicted would best enhance their life, or that they got something they barely wanted at all. When faced with seemingly infinite varieties of soft drinks, breakfast cereals, running shoes, or life partners, people end up miserable and depressed. Somewhere down the road, we all begin to wonder whether we've chosen, as the ageing knight in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade put it, "wisely."

Too many young urban people - bombarded with innumerable lifestyle choices - are single, careerless, and adrift. Brand names (pseudonyms for "you don't have to choose, we've done it for you!") have endured in the modern marketplace, and have only grown in popularity in recent years. Fast food meal deals, pre-packaged vacations, and über-complete cosmetic lines have all helped consumers narrow down options and simplify their lives.

Suddenly, in 2004, a brand new literary genre has arrived on the streets of Vancouver, promising to help confused adults navigate the heady waters of drug acquisition and consumption. An anonymously authored guerrilla publication has splashed itself across the city, lurking within Saturday editions of the Vancouver Sun . This clandestine booklet is causing some fuss - shocking some readers, while secretly pleasing others. Somewhat of a take-off from the traditional how-to manual, this little tan booklet combines elements of language training, anthropological studies, and self-help worksheets. The book's premise both attracts and repels, excites laughter and terror, and invites pleasure coupled much too closely with disgust.

Make It Your Drink: A Guide to Starbucks® Beverages (Starbucks Press, 2003, 23 pages) is a godsend to those who have been barred thus far from the elite coffee culture of the Pacific Northwest. This guide dissects the ordering process, simplifies choosing, and really helps to ensure that the intimidated reader has all the information they need to be 110 per cent satisfied with their next Starbucks beverage purchase. No longer content to stand outside in the rain, faces pressed against squeaky-clean windows, lesser animals can equip themselves with the knowledge they need to join the zoo inside, where it is warm, friendly, and always "one person, one moment, one cup at a time."

The first chapter, "Learning the Lingo," is a glossary of everything you ever wanted to know about the Starbucks menu (but were afraid to ask, thinking you'd be mocked by the thick-black-framed-glasses-wearing spiky-haired hipster behind the counter who would, yeah, probably mock you). Did you know that, like a martini, your beverage could be "dry"? Like a sexy pantyhose commercial, it can even come "with legs." You can even ask for your coffee "unleaded" to mean 'without caffeine'! That's so cute.

Sections detailing syrup choices, milk or milk substitute choices, and other options (such as "extra hot" or "extra foamy"), help you to understand the gamut of ingredients and finishes available to you when you design your own drink. And that's what this booklet is all about - finding the perfect coffee beverage to define who you are . It really helps you put a "personal stamp" on your favourite Starbucks beverage. You own it, girl.

The manual also warns you not to be alarmed if you order a drink and then hear the cashier call it back to the barista (Italian for "bartender") in foreign-sounding "barista-speak." It then provides the bookish with a quick tutorial in barista-speak , which as it turns out, is an efficient and ordered language with only five parts to a sentence or, as the baristas say, "call."

I especially liked the personalised beverage design template in the back, along with a practice fill-in-the-blanks worksheet for translating your design into barista-speak . A completed worksheet will come in especially handy for the awkward and easily confused when they make that all-important first-trip into Starbucks.

With classic quotables, such as "the moo is where you can be most expressive" and "whipped cream: add a little fun to your drink ," Make It Your Drink is sure to become a timeless gem. Thanks to the glossary, even I finally mastered telling the difference between a "For-Here Cup" and a "To-Go Cup." Being stupid and condescending only solidifies Make It Your Drink as the definitive guide to Vancouver's coffee culture. And now, unlike any other time in history, every Average Joe can have his cuppa and own it too.

Now how would you like to pay for that: cash, debit, credit, or Starbucks Card?

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